Last week was pure crazy. Like code red, stage 5, absolute madness. We have started making plans to buy more land, build a larger production facility, finishing tax stuff, meeting with lenders, phone calls with a few small biz wiz peeps, plus all the other regular chaos of running a business and family - making product, fulfilling orders, chasing 2 wee ones around, trying to get all the plant starts in the ground. Saturday we had a demo for a new store and a 2 hour drive to get there with said wee ones. Michael demoed, I chased our kiddos from parks to ice cream parlors, then drove our exhausted family back home, in the same day on maaaaaaaybe 3 hours of sleep. Sunday, I had to help teach a Yo-Face workshop and Monday my lovely in-laws decided to drive across 2 states for a last min visit.
The drive back, I hit a figurative wall, I felt like I was run-over by a very real 18-wheeler. It was hard to just simply breathe. I never made time to stop and do a me-scan, check-in with myself. I hardly slept a wink that night again, going over the workshop in my head. Leading people through a self-care routine is kinda stressful, turns out. About 30 mins before I was to hit the road again to set up for Yo-Face, it happened. The beginning signs of an ocular migraine. I get about 2 a year. It's definitely my body's way of pulling back the reins, telling me to slow down and chill. Process that stress, girl! Whoa! I thought I could power through, wait for the psychedelic fans in my peripheral to go away and just deal with the migraine pain train. Again, not listening to the hints my body was dropping. Bad idea. There was no way to be cool and cancel the workshop, the show must go on! So I buckled up and bucked up, and met up with my partner who is co-teaching the workshop. She's known me since I was 9, pre migraines, first migraine, lots of figuring out how to deal with the migraines. She gets it, we didn't know what to do. The last thing in the world I want is for people to think of me as a slacker, a flake. We got the studio all set up and were ready to get our teach on. 15 mins until showtime and I bolted for the restroom and I guess you could say - the stress was purged. Ugh. Better out than in? Our #SelfCareSunday was not going as planned.... At. All. My partner was miraculously able to pull it together and do the workshop solo while I crawled home and fell down. More life got in the way and I knew I had to have a good sit and think, but that didn't really happen until today, more than a week later. Thank you, sagittarius moon for giving me some soul wisdom.
My point is, self care is about more about doing a face mask. Self care should go a little further than skin deep. Sure it's relaxing and it's important to take care of your skin. We all want to put our best face forward. It's so easy to ignore what is going on inside us because it's harder to feel than to see sometimes. Some people show their stress through their skin I suppose. Others, like me, show it by physically breaking down. Either way, having a busy, crazy schedule isn't what life is about. How did our view of success get so closely tied to how BUSY we are? The busier the better mentality has to stop. Why can't we view success by how many deep breaths we take during the day? I consider myself a pretty mindful, grateful, happy-go-lucky, adventurous woman. I always make time everyday to simply stop and enjoy my kids, the birds, home-cooked grub, I smell every freaking flower I see even the ones that I know aren't fragrant. But, maybe if I were to take that energy, direct it inwards and evaluate myself I wouldn't get to the point of being so overwhelmed and getting to a point that I don't have a choice in the matter of falling apart. I have always known that these migraines are directly related to stress. I deal with it when it happens and move on. I'm 33 years old and am now just learning to learn lessons. Ha!
"Slow down everyone you're moving too fast. Frames can't catch you when you're moving like that" - Jack Johnson